One time when my wife and I first started dating, we found ourselves at a Safeway late at night with only the late shift present. The place was quiet. Utterly dead quiet.
We were having fun, getting snacks and I decided to pass the time telling a joke.
A young boy sees a Pirate with a patch, a hook and a peg leg. The boy goes over to the Pirate and points at his peg leg.
"What happened to your leg?" the boy asks.
"Ar," the Pirate says. "I was forced to walk the plank and when I jumped into the briny deep, t'was a shark what bit it off!"
"That's exciting!" the boy says. He points to the hook. "What happened to your hand?"
"Ar," the Pirate says. "T'was a scurvy dog what chopped it off in a vicious sword fight!"
"That's exciting!" the boy exclaims again. He points at the eye patch. "What happened to your eye?"
"Ar, t'was a bird what pooped in it," the Pirate says.
The boy is crestfallen. "That doesn't sound very exciting."
"Ar," the Pirate says. "It is when it's your first day with a hook."
My wife paused and put the put the pieces together. She almost wretched, but instead laughed loud enough that it could be heard from one end of the store to the other.